9 Difficult Sex Positions To Try When You’re Craving Something New

No matter how much you love the basic missionary position (it’s a classic for a reason!), sometimes it’s fun to spice up your sex life with something new. Whether it’s a problem you’ve been hiding, a new toy that recently caught your eye, or a difficult sex position that promises to take you on a wild ride, there are so many ways to inject some newness into the bedroom when the classics are starting to feel a little worn.

Celeste Hirschman, MA, San Francisco-based sex expert and therapist, co-founder of the Somatica sex method, says it’s completely normal to crave new positions with your partner, especially if you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship. “Monogamy can get boring, and creativity is so important to keeping your sex life strong,” she told Elite Daily. “You have to consciously make an effort to try new things together.”

Aside from the fact that it can be a super fun challenge, when it comes to difficult sex positions, sometimes that old adage really applies: the journey is the destination. Hirschman says the process of figuring out how to make expert-level positions work — together — can do amazing things for your emotional connection. “The best thing about trying fun new sex positions is the novelty, the playfulness, the co-creation,” she says. “That feeling of collaboration can be very conducive to intimacy and trust.”

On the other hand, sex educator Goody Howard says adding expert-level sex positions to your repertoire can be like “ordering a live octopus” from a restaurant. You do it for the novelty, for the thrill, and for the bragging rights – but do you really want to eat this thing?

“People usually try these daredevil sex positions out of boredom,” she says. “They want to try something different, like how you try new foods on a whim.” But in truth, she says, just because a job is difficult doesn’t necessarily make it more satisfying or enjoyable. The challenge is to find positions that are new and exciting but also full of orgasmic potential.

“’Expert’ should mean the most enjoyable, but in general it’s just a proxy for the degree of difficulty or complication,” she explains. “Some of the simpler positions are extremely enjoyable because of the level of closeness, negative space, and ability to maintain momentum. It’s not handstands or split lunges or anything. People here have sex for sport, not for fun, and it’s a silly race in my mind.

Difficult sex positions aren’t always accessible to all body types and abilities – and what qualifies as a “difficult” position for one body may be less difficult for another. If you try a position where you can’t breathe or hold yourself properly, Howard says it’s time to reevaluate. You don’t want to sacrifice your safety, pleasure, and focus just to impress your partner with your springy abilities.

To perform an expert-level position, you don’t necessarily need to do a handstand or hold your partner upside down – although if you’re physically capable, it’s definitely a possibility!

“There are a lot of things that could make a position ‘expert’,” Howard explains. “If it requires a certain level of rhythm, it could be ‘expert’ level for some people – not everyone has rhythm! Being contorted and always pushed is a challenge. You can also incorporate tools and toys that enhance your play.”

An idea ? Howard recommends playing with a foam pillow wedge under your partner’s bottom while you’re on top to elevate his penis or dildo as he enters you.

Read on for more expert level sex positions that are all about your pleasure.

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For a modified missionary position, try lying on your back with your knees against your chest as your partner penetrates you. Ooooo, very flexible!

If you’ve ever wanted to feel like a human puzzle piece, this is the job for you. Start with your partner lying flat on their back. You will lie on top of them, also on their backs, and maneuver their penis or dildo up into your vagina. For an even hotter moment, have them kiss your back and neck as you grind them from above.

wheelbarrow/seated wheelbarrow

A little arm strength is mandatory for the wheelbarrow, but wow is it worth the extra reps in the gym. You can try this standing or sitting (both are a challenge!) facing your partner. If you’re standing, you’ll be inverted with your hands on the floor while your partner holds your legs up. If you’re seated, have your partner place their bottom on the edge of a bed, couch, or chair. Sit on his knees facing you, then gradually work your hands towards the floor and your legs straight behind your partner’s hips. They will have an unobstructed view of your butt and you can grind to your heart’s content.

Porn star status achieved! If your partner is muscular enough – and if you have the stomach for it – ask them to lift and roll you over, so that your mouth is near their genitals and their mouth is near yours. Sucking, licking, kissing, fingering, caressing and whatever suits you.

Oral sex over the shoulders against the wall

Ready to feel like you’re flying? Ask your partner to lift you onto their shoulders facing them, so that your genitals are facing them. Then have them lean against a wall behind you while they devour you. What is the view from up there?

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For easier execution, straddle your partner while seated on a bed, couch, or chair. When they stand up, they will support you with their arms while you mount them.

This one is basically the Upstanding Straddler without any standing position. Ask your partner to sit on the applesauce (you know the drill) and then get on his lap, facing him. Fair warning: this one is harder than it looks! Stretch your hips together beforehand, as this requires some hip flexor flexibility.

Scissoring is a magical position that allows you and your partner to bring your genitals closer together. (And yes, it’s totally real.) There are a million ways to shear, but it’s a little more accessible when your legs are bent. Try to face yourself with your knees bent and your arms back for support. Cooch together until your genitals touch or until they penetrate you with their penis or dildo. You can place your feet on either side of her hips or you can interlock your legs so that you are both lying on your side. Grind!

You might be L-shaped, but prepare for a big W – and an even bigger O. Lie on the edge of a bed with your legs straight out to the side, so that your body is in an L shape. Ask your partner to stand up and enter you from the edge of the bed, gripping your hips to extra support (and more pizzazz).


Celeste Hirschman, MA, San Francisco-based sex expert and therapist, co-founder of the Somatica sex method

Goody Howard, sex educator

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